Californians Move to Texas | Episode 1: Moving Day

Hello honey someone’s going to the house someone’s going to the house what do we do what do we do what do we do who are you call the pops i’m going to call the boss we’re recording you no no no no it’s okay i’m just your neighbor coming by to say howdy oh

Sorry about that yeah we’re not used to people stopping by to say howdy without assaulting us first robbing us or defecating on our lawn sometimes all three the trifecta we’re from los angeles just moved to texas i figured oh the california plates well yeah and the masks inside your own house

No one else around 2022. we just want to be extra safe we feel naked without mass we’ll probably wear them for the rest of our lives we’ll be buried in them okay well you seem like a lovely couple like i said i just wanted to drop by and welcome you to the neighborhood

Why do you want something oh no no no no they’re uh i think he’s being friendly people around here are friendly like we’ve seen in the movies right i thought that was just make-believe like superheroes or families that go to church no no no that’s a myth this is real life so uh

I live in that house over yonder and name’s kevin hi kevin i’m timpani she her and i’m steve he him what are your pronouns i don’t believe in pronouns i think they’re reductive and in fact just you’re asking about it is a microaggression oh my gosh i am so sorry

I i didn’t mean to no it’s okay i’m just messing with you i like all pronouns my favorite is you yeah i don’t get it exactly so if you need anything just holler my wife and i’d be happy to help baby he has a gun calling the cop i’m

Recording you no no no regarding it’s okay it’s okay it’s just my sidearm everybody here has a gun sorry we don’t really like guns there’s a lot of crime where we’re from i understand there’s not a lot of crime here why because everybody here has a gun i don’t get it

You’ll get used to it but what if i don’t want to get used to it guns people walking up to your driveway without mass and without pronouns i i don’t think i can live like this if it makes you feel more at home we just recently replaced a lot of our

Electrical grid with unreliable wind power baby it helps but honestly i just don’t think i can do this where’s the police sirens where’s the helicopters overhead where’s the needles in this street i just can’t live like this it’s so hot and the bugs are so big so much Are you a purveyor of fine goods and a patron of quality entertainment if so be sure to like subscribe and comment to support the fine institution known as the babylon bear and if you don’t subscribe you must be one of those unfortunates who can’t even afford an in-house sommelier

Speaking of which original bring the 1906 starting market

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Video Duration: 00:04:04